Pillow Talk
by Nell Fratelli
Summary: Think morning-after, but not even... Series of Roy/Jade post-coitus conversations. M because despite the fact that I love cartoons, I am incapable of writing for children.
1. The First

**Just something I was playing with... Chapters are sequential. Don't pretend you don't know what happens when the line breaks up the chatting.**

* * *

**_The First _**

_Roy_: "_Wow_."

_Cheshire:_ "Don't look so surprised."

_Roy:_ "That... that was great and everything, but if you're going to kill me, can I at least put my clothes back on?"

_Roy:_ "Whoa, what are you - "

_Cheshire:_ "Don't talk so much, Red."

* * *

_Cheshire:_ "Where do you think you're going?"

_Roy:_ "Uh, well, it's really late, and I have to... Nevermind."

_Cheshire:_ "That's what I thought."

* * *

_Roy:_ "I shouldn't be here."

_Roy:_ "This is wrong."

_Roy:_ "Dinah's going to have my hide."

_Cheshire:_ "What happens in ratty motels stays in ratty motels. And while we're fucking, I don't want to hear about your girlfriends."

_Roy:_ "She's not my - "

_Cheshire:_ "Stop talking."

_Roy:_ "Jealous?"

_Cheshire:_ "Just get over here."

* * *

_ Roy:_ "Where are you going?"

_Cheshire:_ "I thought you had to find your tights and get out of here."

_Roy:_ "Yeah, but - "

_Cheshire:_ "If this is going to happen, Red, it's going to be when and how _I_ say. And now I say it's time to get lost."

_ Roy:_ "So besides you dragging me off crime scenes and then jumping out the window, how is this going to work?"

_Cheshire:_ "What do you mean, 'besides'?"


	2. Again

**You can see how short and bare these are meant to be. Just teensy convo-fics. Hopefully the cadences of their speech aren't too out of character...**

* * *

**_Again_**

_Roy:_ "This bed is lumpy."

_Cheshire:_ "Whining is _not_ attractive."

_Roy:_ "I'm not whining, I'm stating a fact."

_Cheshire:_ "Whining means no more sex."

_Roy:_ "I wasn't whining."

* * *

_Cheshire: _"Do those tights ever get uncomfortable?"

_Roy:_ "What kind of question is that?"

_Cheshire:_ "Now that I know you're not a stuffer, your get-up seems a little too revealing for the toys kids get in their Happy Meals."

_Roy:_ "Heroes have more important things to worry about than _stuffing_, Chesh."

_Cheshire:_ "No nicknames."

_Roy:_ "But you call me - "

_Cheshire:_ "Rule-maker gets to break whenever she wants. Now shut up."

* * *

_Roy:_ "You didn't waste any time tracking me down again. Slow week for assassinations?"

_Cheshire:_ "Please. As if you don't keep tabs on me, too."

_Roy:_ "You're a villain. Of course the League keeps tabs on you."

_Cheshire:_ "Ouch, Arrow. And here I was, thinking we were something special."

_Roy:_ "Special? We don't even know each other's names."

_Cheshire:_ "Roy Harper."

_Roy:_ "Fuck."

_Cheshire:_ "Sounds good to me."

* * *

_Roy:_ "So... Want to grab some dinner?"

_Cheshire:_ "Little Red asking me out on a date. How cute."

_Roy:_ "That wasn't a joke. I'm starving."

_Cheshire:_ "Then I guess we're done here."


	3. Room

**Hah hah! Slutty Nell emerges! She's been so quiet for so long... Not anymore, I guess.**

_**Room**_

_Roy:_ "Do you pay for these rooms?"

_Cheshire:_ "We just had the wildest sex of your sidekick life, and you want to know if I paid for the room?"

_Roy:_ "Yes."

_Cheshire:_ "Do I _look_ like I carry credit cards around?"

_Roy:_ "You have a lot of pockets and straps."

_Cheshire:_ "_No_, the ninja assassin didn't _pay_ for the room. Where are you going?"

_Roy:_ "I lock people up for stealing. I'm not about to do it myself."

_Cheshire:_ "If you leave now, I'm gone. Your choice, Red."

_Roy:_ "I'll take care of it later."

* * *

_Cheshire:_ "Now aren't you glad you didn't get up to shell out money for this shithole?"

_Cheshire:_ "Playing hard to get, tough guy? Fine. Let's see how hard I can _make_ you get..."

_Roy:_ "Yes."

_Cheshire:_ "Yes what?"

_Roy: "Yes, I'm glad."_

* * *

_Roy: _"When are you going to tell me your name?"

_Cheshire:_ "Never."

_Roy:_ "Don't you think that's a little unfair?"

_Cheshire:_ "What about me ever made you think I give a flying fuck about fairness?"

_Roy:_ "You're being childish."

_Cheshire:_ "Cautious. And don't go all sappy on me - in a few weeks, when this is over, the only point of you knowing my name will be so you have something to scream to your hand."

_Roy:_ "But you know mine."

_Roy:_ "And I don't do that."

_Cheshire:_ "Cautious. And you're really hot when you lie to me."

* * *

_Roy:_ "I wasn't lying."

_Cheshire:_ "I know that _now_. But when you said you could do that with your knees - "

_Roy:_ "No, I mean about what you said. Before."

_Cheshire:_ "Oh, Red, don't even try it."

_Roy:_ "I mean it, I - "

_Cheshire:_ "Yeah, whatever. Now unless you're about to pull on your pretty little tights and skip away, scoot the hell over."

_Roy:_ "You have plenty of room. And I don't _skip_."

_Cheshire:_ "Touchy, touchy."

_Roy:_ "This feels... familiar."

_Cheshire:_ "Three times and I'm already _familiar_? No, that is not going to fly."

* * *

_Roy:_ "It's been way more than just _three times_."

_Roy:_ "Three _nights_, maybe, but about..."

_Roy:_ "What? Thirty..."

_Roy:_ "Times..."

_Cheshire:_ "Fuck, Red. Is that all I had to do to get you to shut up?"


	4. Name

**_Name_**

_Roy:_ "Seriously, when are you going to tell me your name?"

_Cheshire:_ "Just feel lucky I keep inviting you out to these Taj Mahals of motels."

_Roy:_ "Invite me? You practically kidnapped me."

_Cheshire:_ "Don't even pretend that you don't like it. And you should know by now, I rarely ever do _serious_."

* * *

_Roy:_ "Holly."

_Roy:_ "Eva."

_Roy:_ "Vivienne?"

_Cheshire:_ "If it helps you get off, you can call me whatever - "

_Roy:_ "No, I'm trying to guess your name."

_Cheshire:_ "You can try, Red, but you'll never learn it from me."

_Roy:_ "April?"

_Cheshire:_ "Ew."

_Roy:_ "Tanya?"

_Cheshire:_ "Next."

_Roy:_ "Amber?"

_Cheshire:_ "Do I look like I play shitty guitar?"

_Roy:_ "I wouldn't know, would I?"

_Cheshire:_ "I never had the time for lessons as a kid."

_Roy:_ "Jennifer?"

_Cheshire:_ "No, but one of my aliases was a Jennifer."

_Roy:_ "Is it something Asian?"

_Cheshire:_ "Just because I have slanted eyes? I'm an American, you racist."

_Roy:_ "Fine.

_Cheshire:_ "That's it? You just give up?"

_Roy:_ "You told me I would never get it."

_Cheshire:_ "Yeah, but that doesn't mean you stop trying."

_Roy:_ "You never stop trying, do you - "

_Cheshire:_ "Oh, sidekick, if you think this is me _trying_, you're in for a _big_ surprise..."

* * *

_Roy:_ "Just tell me."

_Cheshire:_ "Nope."

_Roy:_ "I'm going to find out."

_Cheshire:_ "Good luck with that."

_Roy:_ "I mean it."

_Cheshire:_ "Why do you want to ruin everything so badly?"

_Roy:_ "Calling you something other than the name of a creepy giant flying cat is ruining everything?"

_Cheshire:_ "_Nothing personal._ Ever. That's the only way this is going to keep going, Red."

_Roy:_ "Are you going to make me pinkie swear?"

_Cheshire:_ "Something like that."


	5. Compliment

_**Compliment**_

_Roy:_ "It's hard to tell most of the time, because of the mask and the fact that you murder people, but you're really..."

_Cheshire:_ "Gorgeous? Sexy? Pants-tightening?"

_Roy:_ "Pants-tightening?"

_Cheshire:_ "That's my personal favorite."

_Roy:_ "Nevermind."

_Cheshire:_ "Those are just the most-used adjectives."

_Roy:_ "Oh, god."

_Cheshire:_ "What? You're not the first person to notice how hot I am."

_Roy:_ "Forget I said anything."

_Cheshire:_ "Don't be so touchy."

_Cheshire:_ "I changed my mind. Be touchy. As touchy as you can."

* * *

_Cheshire:_ "What were you going to say?"

_Roy:_ "Huh?"

_Cheshire:_ "Before you got all huffy. What were you going to say?"

_Roy:_ "I said forget it."

_Cheshire:_ "Have it your way. I'll just be leaving, then - "

_Roy:_ "Why are you always so - so - "

_Cheshire:_ "Spit it out, lover boy, before I find my pants."

_Roy:_ "Evil."

_Cheshire:_ "That's kind of my thing. Wouldn't be much of an assassin without a murderous laugh."

_Roy:_ "And we're back to villainy."

_Cheshire:_ "We could play good cop-bad cop. I'll start. Now what the hell were you going to say?"

_Roy:_ "Bad cop first. Of course."

_Cheshire:_ "Or good cop, if you prefer. I can be very persuasive."

_Roy:_ "How are your hands _never_ cold - ?"

_Cheshire:_ "They're not all that's warm. Want to feel?"

_Roy:_ "Cheshire - "

_Cheshire:_ "What was it you were going to say about me, Red?"

_Roy:_ "You're - "

_Cheshire:_ "Yes?"

_Roy:_ "Uh..."

_Cheshire:_ "Should I try bad cop, then? She has her own methods of persuasion, though they usually leave marks. But big Red isn't afraid of a few more scars, are you?"

_Roy:_ "I was going - "

_Cheshire:_ "Hmm?"

_Roy:_ " - to say - "

_Cheshire:_ "Mm?"

_Roy:_ "You're really beautiful."

_Cheshire:_ "_What?_"

_Roy:_ "Ow, Chesh, what the - "

_Cheshire:_ "_What did you say?_"

_Roy:_ "_Fuck_, loosen, the death grip!"

_Roy:_ "What the hell was that about? All I said was you're beauti-"

* * *

_Roy:_ "I should compliment you more often."

_Cheshire:_ "It's got to get old sometime. All the others did."

_Roy:_ "No one's really called you beautiful before? I find that hard to believe."

_Roy:_ "Hey, where are you going, Chesh? We were just - "

_Cheshire:_ "I said no nicknames."


	6. Delivery

_**Delivery**_

_Roy:_ "I need food."

_Cheshire:_ "You know my rule against whining."

_Roy:_ "I'm not joking. I haven't eaten in days."

_Cheshire:_ "Well why the fuck not? Some new superhero diet they put you on? Because you can tell them from me that you look just fine in those spandex tights."

_Roy:_ "Shut up. And I've been a little busy, you know, thwarting evil plots."

_Roy:_ "You could've given me a heads-up."

_Cheshire:_ "And ruin all the fun? I don't think so."

_Roy:_ "Well if you're going to have any more _fun_ tonight, it'll have to be without me. I really need to find something to eat."

_Cheshire:_ "What a party pooper. And a baby."

_Roy:_ "No, Chesh, _I mean it_ - "

_Cheshire:_ "_No nicknames!_"

_Roy:_ "I'll see you later."

_Cheshire:_ "Oh, come on, Red, no pants yet."

_Roy:_ "I'm wasting away."

_Cheshire:_ "What difference will one more hour make?"

_Roy:_ "No. Now."

_Cheshire:_ "Okay, fine, we'll order delivery."

* * *

_Cheshire:_ "Did you see the look on that kid's face?"

_Roy:_ "I told you to put a shirt on first."

_Cheshire:_ "I was wearing a bra! How was I supposed to know the delivery boy would be all of sixteen?"

_Cheshire:_ "And you threw my shirt across the room somewhere."

_Cheshire:_ "By the way, you're getting that."

_Cheshire:_ "Geez, Red, when you said you were hungry, you really weren't kidding."

_Roy:_ "That mission threw me off my routine. I probably lost ten pounds."

_Cheshire:_ "Would you like a tampon to go with your vagina?"

_Roy:_ "Shut up."

* * *

_Roy:_ "There. Put your shirt on."

_Cheshire:_ "We just got here!"

_Roy:_ "No whining. And we're going out."

_Cheshire:_ "I'm all for adventurous sex, Red, but _I_ make the rules here."

_Roy:_ "Come on. Dinah - a friend told me about a movie that just came out. It's supposed to be good."

_Cheshire:_ "No. We do _not_ go on dates. And I told you that I never want to hear about your girlfriends."

_Roy:_ "Will you please put your clothes on?"

_Cheshire:_ "Make me."

_Roy:_ "We can't just keep breaking into motel rooms and fucking each other's brains out."

_Cheshire:_ "_Yes_, we _can_."

_Roy:_ "Chesh - "

_Cheshire:_ "No. Nicknames."

_Roy:_ "Hey, where are you - "

_Roy:_ "_FUCK!_"

* * *

_Roy:_ "Fucking ninja girlfriend with fucking ninja swords."

_Roy:_ "This is what I get for trying to be a gentleman."

_Roy: _"_Shit_."


	7. Not Over

**Note: This is slight AU, where the Team and the League both didn't know Cheshire's true identity, and thus Red Arrow and Roy didn't know. In case anyone was scratching their heads with fingers poised to make a point.**

* * *

**_Not Over_**

_Roy:_ "So."

_Roy:_ "It's been a while."

_Cheshire:_ "Don't talk. You just ruin everything when you talk."

_Roy:_ "I wanted to know your name, go out and do something with you that didn't involve violence or crime or sex, and _I'm_ the one who ruined things?"

_Cheshire:_ "If you don't shut up, I'm leaving."

_Roy:_ "This - _isn't_ - over - "

_Cheshire:_ "I think it is."

* * *

_Roy:_ "_Jade_..."

_Jade:_ "_What did you say?_"

_Roy:_ "Fuck."

_Jade:_ "When did you find out my name?"

_Roy:_ "Ow."

_Jade:_ "_When?_"

_Roy:_ "The week after you ditched me. Artemis told the Team."

_Jade:_ "How much?"

_Roy:_ "Everything."

_Roy:_ "So that's why you never seemed to be trying, when you fought us. She's your sister."

_Roy:_ "I like your name."

_Roy:_ "It suits you."

_Roy:_ "Jade, what are you - "

_Jade:_ "Don't call me that."

_Roy:_ "Don't leave, not again - will you just _talk_ to me?"

_Jade:_ "No, _Roy_, I will not _talk_ to you."

_Roy:_ "Why not?"

_Jade:_ "Because what does that mean? Buying _room keys_ for these shit places? What's next - cuddling instead of fucking?"

_Roy:_ "What's wrong with that? What's wrong with going out once in a while? What's wrong with fucking knowing your name? Jesus, stop acting like I'm trying to destroy you or something - "

_Jade:_ "_We're_ wrong."

_Jade:_ "This was just supposed to be sex. And it was fun while it lasted, but - "

_Roy:_ "Shut the hell up."

* * *

_Cheshire:_ "Really, Red? A tracker?"

_Roy:_ "Three minutes. You're getting sloppy."

_Cheshire:_ "I'm out of here."

_Roy:_ "So you're just giving up."

_Cheshire:_ "Don't flatter yourself. You're pretty and all, but there's not much to give up."


	8. Special

_**Special**_

_Roy:_ "So."

_Roy:_ "You're back."

_Roy:_ "Is this... for good?"

_Roy:_ "The silent treatment. Really. How old are you - five?"

_Roy:_ "... Yeah, okay, five year olds definitely don't do that."

* * *

_Roy:_ "Are you going to say anything at all?"

_Roy:_ "Fine, I will; I'm not sorry. It's only fair that I get to know who you are, too."

_Roy:_ "Why are you such a _bitch_?"

_Roy:_ "No, wait. Stay."

_Roy:_ "Please?"

* * *

_Roy:_ "Alright, this is getting weird. You're seriously not going to say anything at all?"

_Roy:_ "Do you do this to every guy you sleep with, or am I special?"

* * *

_Roy:_ "I'm going to take that to mean I'm special."

_Roy:_ "OUCH."

_Roy:_ "Or not."

...

_Roy:_ "Fine. If this is how it's going to be from now on, Chesh, then I'm done."

_Jade:_ "I don't think so."

* * *

_Roy:_ "What changed your mind?"

_Jade:_ "You're an asshole."

_Roy:_ "Usually that has the opposite effect."

_Roy:_ "I mean it. I actually want to know."

_Roy:_ "Chesh - "

_Jade:_ "No nicknames."

_Roy:_ "What _am_ I allowed to call you, then?"

_Jade:_ "Nothing. If you would just listen to the fucking rules, you wouldn't be talking at all."

_Roy:_ "Stop acting like having a conversation with me would destroy the world."

_Jade:_ "For the last time, _I don't want to talk_. I don't want to go out. I don't want names or nicknames or whatever the hell you want to call them."

_Roy:_ "Well what _do_ you want?"

_Jade:_ "To fuck your brains out every once in a while, end of story. Is that too much to ask?"

_Roy:_ "Yes."

* * *

_Roy:_ "No. Come _on_. You can't just leave after that."

_Jade:_ "I can do whatever I want."

_Roy:_ "Yeah? And how's that working out for you?"

_Roy:_ "You're thinner."

_Jade:_ "Most women think that's a compliment."

_Roy:_ "I mean it."

_Roy:_ "Just stop running away."

_Jade:_ "Sure. Right after you stop dicking around in your little fantasty world and being sappy and naive and pathetic."

_Roy:_ "You think I don't know this is ten kinds of insane? Not to mention dangerous, impossible, and wrong."

_Jade:_ "Then quit fighting about it and let it go."

_Roy:_ "I don't want to."

* * *

_Roy:_ "Was it just me, or was that... really hot."

_Jade:_ "Are you going to start talking dirty, or can I tune out now?"

_Roy:_ "Be serious."

_Jade:_ "Only while on the job, Red."

_Roy:_ "You're hopeless."

_Jade:_ "So give up."

_Roy:_ "You're doing this on purpose."

_Jade:_ "You finally figured it out. How adorable."

_Roy:_ "You want to be alone. Forever."

_Jade:_ "I'm sure I'll die before it comes to that."

_Jade:_ "You can't seriously be upset."

_Jade:_ "Actually, I'll take Pouty Red over Chatty Red."

_Roy:_ "Don't. I'm suddenly not in the mood."

_Jade:_ "Hilarious."

_Roy:_ "Who's joking?"

_Jade:_ "You're actually serious."

_Jade:_ "No. Back on the bed. I wasn't finished with you."

_Jade:_ "Fine. But don't expect me to be here when your hand isn't good enough."

_Jade:_ "You're a weak fuck anyway."

_Roy:_ "'Bye, Jade."

_Jade:_ "Don't call me that, you dick."


	9. Surprise

**_Surprise_**

_Roy:_ "How did you find - Forget it. You probably wouldn't say."

_Jade:_ "Nope."

_Roy:_ "What are we doing here?"

_Jade:_ "It's simple, Red."

_Roy:_ "Then enlighten me."

_Jade:_ "We're going to order some food, watch some stolen pay-per-view, and you're going to stay until we've fucked each other senseless, nice and proper."

_Roy:_ "I can't tell if you're kidding."

_Jade:_ "Not this time, loverboy. But keep up with that sourpuss of yours and I might come to my senses."

* * *

_Jade:_ "It's been too long. You're out of practice."

_Roy:_ "Shut up."

_Jade:_ "Make up your mind - do you want to talk or not?"

_Roy:_ "Because critiquing my sexual performance really counts as talking."

_Jade:_ "Picky, picky."

_Jade:_ "Really, though, what was with that knuckle thing?"

_Roy:_ "I wasn't thinking about it, okay?"

_Jade:_ "Clearly. Misplaced, awkward, mission-less knuckle? You're lucky you weren't on the receiving end."

_Roy:_ "This is a nice way to say hello, after however many months it's been."

_Jade:_ "My point exactly."

_Jade:_ "You know, if I didn't know better, I'd say you've been suffering quite the dry spell."

...

_Jade:_ "Seriously?"

_Jade:_ "You haven't had a fuck in five months?"

_Jade:_ "You're joking."

_Roy:_ "Shut up."

_Jade:_ "You're not joking."

_Jade:_ "But why the hell not?"

_Roy:_ "Forget it."

_Jade:_ "Oh, Red. You know I can't do that."

* * *

_Jade:_ "This movie is terrible."

_Roy:_ "It was your idea."

_Jade:_ "I distinctly remember _you_ whining about bringing more culture into our already bi-racial bed."

_Roy:_ "I meant seeing an _actual_ movie. In a theater. With other people around."

_Jade:_ "Back to adventurous sex?"

_Roy:_ "You know that's not what I mean."

_Jade:_ "Relax. Try to smile. It was funny."

_Roy:_ "You're never funny."

_Jade:_ "Words hurt, Red."

_Roy:_ "Can I turn this crap off now?"

_Jade:_ "Only if we can go back on."

_Jade:_ "Good boy."

* * *

_Jade:_ "You're getting better. You only fumbled once that time."

_Roy:_ "Thanks for the vote of confidence. Now quit hogging the pillows."

_Jade:_ "My room, my pillows."

_Roy: _"You paid for this place?"

_Jade:_ "More than I should have. But I hacked the pay-per-view, so it's a little better."

_Roy:_ "But... why?"

_Jade:_ "You're too sickeningly heroic to let even one of these shitholes to go unpaid for, and don't think I don't know the sad state of your finances, Roy Harper."

_Jade:_ "Don't look at me like that."

_Roy:_ "Like what?"

_Jade:_ "Like that."

Roy: "I'm not - "

* * *

Roy: "What exactly are we doing?"

_Jade:_ "Lying naked in bed after a very, very satisfying ride."

_Roy:_ "Jade."

_Jade:_ "Don't - "

_Roy:_ "You're pretty fucking ridiculous, you know that?"

_Jade:_ "Keep talking like that, it makes me all warm and tingly."

_Roy:_ "I'm serious, Jade. Just tell me right now if you're going to keep playing your games."

_Jade:_ "I can think of a game we can play - "

_Roy:_ "Will you knock it off already?"

_Roy:_ "No more games, or next time I won't follow you here."

_Jade:_ "I like it when you get all pushy."

* * *

_Roy:_ "Did... all that - mean you'll stop playing around?"

_Jade:_ "It means I like being bunk buddies with you."

_Roy:_ "Chesh -"

_Jade:_ "One move at a time, Red."

* * *

_Roy:_ "That was quite the move."

_Jade:_ "So I've been told."

_Roy:_ "Where are you going?"

_Jade:_ "Shadows. You might want to stay away from Johannesburg this week."

_Roy:_ "Because that's right on my commute."

_Roy:_ "What's happening in Johannesburg?"

_Jade:_ "Now, Red - that would be giving away the surprise."

_Jade:_ "See you there."


End file.
